Thursday, August 26, 2010

What's really going on?

There is a slight difference, but sometimes we aren’t arguing to be right, we are arguing not to be wrong. The ego has taught us being wrong makes you less of a person, while being right makes you the better person. I think both stances are wrong, but let’s look a little deeper at what’s really going on.

For comparison, first think about the way you feel when you want to be right. Stop right this moment and really think about how it makes you feel. It shouldn’t be hard to come up with a recent situation where you wanted to convince the other person you were right and they were wrong.

Now, think about the way you feel when you don’t want to be wrong. It’s not just a matter of correcting the other person or convincing them they are wrong, you absolutely cannot be wrong. You don’t really care that it may be a matter of perception, you might have heard something incorrectly, or your memory of it isn’t correct…you have just can’t own the feeling you were wrong.

If you pay close attention, there is more fear attached to not wanting to be wrong. Wanting to be right is more of a statement of fact. Not wanting to be wrong attaches more of a negative emotion to it. I think it has to do with the fact in one situation you are using the word “want” and in the other you are using the word “don’t.”

Here’s what really is the underlying issue, no matter which one is the reason. If you find yourself correcting others, or constantly seeing their faults, you are seriously having issues with a belief in lack. They have to wrong so you can be right, thus you believe if they have something it take away from you.

Interesting how deceitful our ego can be, hiding our true issues behind something else. The lesson here is- don’t take things at face value. If you find yourself doing something you don’t like, dig in and figure out what’s really going on.

Friday, August 13, 2010

What matters most?

I think our initial reaction on how to answer the question “what matters most to you?” depends on who you are and where you are in life. For example, a man may think “my wife and kids,” and a women may think “my family” Without children, the man may think “my job” and perhaps a women may think “my appearance.” Ask a teenager and they may think “my car.” Give it a minute and I’m sure you can see how answers to this question can be all over the place.

So, let’s dig deeper and figure out what really matters, or more importantly what should.

Here’s the deal… there is only one person, guaranteed that you have to live with your entire life and that person is you. If you don’t recognize how much you matter, if you don’t love yourself unconditionally, how can you give someone else something you don’t have?

We are taught that it’s selfish to think that we matter, and it would be if it was at the expense of someone else. If you are connected to your Creator (or whatever you believe in) you would never choose anything other than what’s in the highest good for everyone. That’s why you need to completely tap into the belief just how much you do matter, because then, and only then will you be able to help others. You will be able to give to others what you have discovered within yourself.

I ask you “what matters?”

I tell you – you do!